The 4 a.m. Lord's Supper

A recent article (future to the rest of the world, as it will be published in June) was the subject of discussion yesterday. Even though the suggestion had been submitted by the editor many times, when it came to her desk as an article, it was sobering.

We were discussing the impact. The focus was a passage in First Corinthians 11:23-32 about the Lord's Supper. The sobering part has to do with judging ourselves and discerning the Lord's body. "For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep [are dead]," (vv. 29-30).

Verse 31 swoops in with a breath of fresh air: "For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged." I do believe I prefer to judge myself rather than to be chastened of the Lord! But even in that, He does it that we should not be condemned with the world. He is a beautiful, loving Savior.

In light of that, she shared some experiences and things she had witnessed. It inspired me. I had a plan. My intention was to come home after church, sit down to communion, and judge myself! I wanted to hit that cause of sickness and weakness, and eradicate it! I didn't. I ate a bunch of chicken and went to bed!

But I woke at 3 a.m. with the Lord's Supper on my mind. Our conversation yesterday brought up Smith Wigglesworth's practice of observing communion daily. I decided to do a bit of research. I came across this quote in an article on cfaith.com called Building a Wall Between You and Sin:

"The real change in Smith Wigglesworth did not come until he started getting up every day at 4 a.m. to take Communion.

"Like clockwork, every day he would begin the day remembering his covenant with Almighty God by taking the bread and the cup. Every day, he lived under the influence of that covenant. And every day, he became more and more bold - until, finally, he became one of the boldest men of God in history."

I looked at the time. I had 20 minutes until 4 a.m. I may as well launch this effort at 4 a.m. like Smith Wigglesworth! I gathered crackers, juice, and my Bible. I looked up scriptures and wrote them down on a card for future reference. But I spent my time in First Corinthians 11:23-32.

I got quiet. I asked the Lord to show me where and how to judge myself. When any specific situation came to mind, I apologized and asked for forgiveness. I repented for thinking low thoughts and asked Him to help me see things His way.

Then I thought about the setting in the scripture. Jesus, about to be betrayed, spent His last meal with the disciples and made a covenant. Knowing what was to come. Knowing His body would be broken. Knowing His blood was to be poured out. The blood of the new testament, the new covenant, His own "last will and testament" so to speak (but He would live again to oversee it). Wow.

So I spoke the words softly to myself before each element: "Take, eat: this is My body which is broken for you ..." I broke the cracker, and as I placed it in my mouth, tears came. "This cup is the new testament in my blood ..." The tears continued.

I don't know why I cry exactly. It seems like any time I am drawn out to God and express it somehow, tears are usually part of it. But in this moment, I don't even have the words as I reflect. It was simply a very personal time with Jesus . . . He and I connecting over covenant.

This will become part of my life, my dedication to Him. I will do this in remembrance of Him. I just don't know that I can consistently do it at 4 a.m. every day!

Rainy Days and Tuesdays

Rainy days and Tuesdays always get me ... well? Not down (like Mondays - heh). But maybe introspective and cozy.

I've been thinking about thinking. Thinking about spirit, soul and body, and how thoughts operate in each realm. This is just musing from a perspective of what I've learned so far (but truly feel like I know so little), so it isn't meant to be an authoritative voice. I'm just sorting things out for my own sake and happened to see a photo that illustrated it and thus I'm sharing!

SPIRIT and THOUGHT: I believe our spirits hear from God's Spirit and reflect to us the things of the spirit world and truth. When guidance or knowledge or wisdom break through, I see that as a function of our spirit man ... thinking like God thinks, learning the ways of God, making what we meditate on in God's Word real in our lives. The challenge? Quieting the rest of the influences enough to hear that still, small voice.

John 14:26 (NIV) 

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, 

whom the Father will send in my name, 

will teach you all things 

and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

SOUL and THOUGHT: Mind, will and emotion are at play here. This is where things get filtered, interpreted, tinted and maybe even generated based on what we think, desire and feel. I think it is a dangerous place where what we see and perceive (two different things) seem to feed information to us that can be entirely opposite of truth. The challenge here? Harnessing the mind and training it to think on the things that are good, true, right, etc.

Romans 12:2 (NIV) 

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, 

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. 

Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--

his good, pleasing and perfect will.

BODY and THOUGHT: My recent fascination with neuroscience has brought some interesting possibilities. Some theories state that by the time a thought becomes what we would call our own thought in the conscious mind, it has already been decided in the brain before we are aware. In that sense, the "machine" of the mind feeds us thought as if it were our own. But the interesting point is that all the neural connections and learning and direction comes from the past ... everything already experienced. And it goes beyond past experience. Nutrition, medication, etc. all play a role in how the physical brain functions. I find it very interesting that many cases of mental health have been "solved" by changing diets.

Add another interesting element ... it seems that our science is advancing to the point where it can show that our thoughts bring things to pass. And those who can focus their thoughts are the happiest of them all. To me, that simply explodes all over the Bible! It's hard to limit my thoughts to just one verse!

The challenges in this area? To treat the body as God's temple (because it is), retrain the mind according to God's future instead of our past, and learn to focus on what will bring us into the best future.

Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV)
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life,
to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;
to be made new in the attitude of your minds;
and to put on the new self,
created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Philippians 4:8 (NIV) 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, 

whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--

if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

1 Timothy 4:14a,15 (International Standard Version)

Do not neglect the gift that is in you ... Think on these things. 

Devote your life to them so that everyone can see your progress.