F—The Many F Words

Today I'll start with the phrase fill in the blanks.

But I also want to explore words like:

freedom
fallacy
fiction
find (a cause--or something to say)
filibuster
fervent
fallow
fruit of the Spirit/spirit
forgiveness : letting go of hurt
fear : overcoming with courage
festivals:  celebrating God's goodness
flood : God's promise in the rain
faith : trusting God's promises

Now that I've thought out loud (also with additional help from "Hey, Google!" and its result of Bible words for kids, the ones with short definitions), I see connections to forgiveness and faith. They both affect filling in the blanks of life. 

First of all, faith. It is the "substance of things hoped for" (Hebrews 11:1), which sounds like a blank to be filled in to me! 

But forgiveness is potentially a roadblock to freedom and a door for evil if one does not forgive those who have hurt them (Mark 11:25; 2 Corinthians 2:10–11). To me, that sounds like a needed edit that wasn't done, and until it is, offense clutters the space that should be free to receive correction or a new, better word or structure.

In writing, editing isn't bad. It's refreshing if you have a good editor! It also brings focus and clarity. (Focus would have been a good f-word!) If forgiveness is an edit for the soul, it would be good and necessary to delete the obstructions and make room for God's ways. Then faith can finally fill the blank.

for·​give* (verb) fər-ˈgiv

transitive verb

1 : to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon

2 a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital for

   b : to grant relief from payment of

intransitive verb

: to grant forgiveness

*"forgive." Merriam-Webster.com. (6 April 2025).

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E—Edit (Post 2 of 2)

What I really want to talk about is editing. I am Irish. LOL. That is the first thing that popped into my head after "I am ..." and so I typed it. Now I must edit. 

I am Irish.
I am __________.

In that sense, I must delete something to correct it. That's one of the ways I feel edit in my bones today. I must delete some things in my life in order to align it correctly. The process started in Ireland (and even previously in Scotland) with my past. I erased ties to previous elements in my life that no longer suited me.

I remember the first one ... I was about to text my former fiance when I felt God's hand as if on my shoulder as if to restrain me. I obeyed. I probably wrote about the details of it then, but I knew I was not to reach out to him again. Our friendship had stayed strong despite our romance ending by choice, so it was not unusual for either one of us to text. But that day, it cut to my heart because I felt like I should delete his contact info from my phone and all past interactions. That ... was ... hard. But I did it.

The more recent trip to Ireland touched directly on my past in ways no one could manufacture. It was a step-by-step process of renouncing former vows (two, husband and fiance) and announcing my betrothal to the Lord and "His land" (meaning His plan for me, kind of like the Promised Land). It also carried the essense of Fort Dunadd from the Scotland trip where I put my foot in the stone that early kings used when coronated to declare their betrothal to the land.

Now that I am back home with a clean slate, I have been spinning my wheels a bit. A friend recently texted me about what she perceived about a "neutral gear" that's not measurable for the gifts and anointing God has given me. Then today, she shared more that made it all click in the context of a car and being in gear. 

So what this all means to me is that in order to align with God's plan, there's some editing to be done! I get that, of course, being a writer. There can be good things in a book or article that are not aligned with "something" ... style guide, grammar, even purpose. Sometimes culling away less strong points helps the focus of the article shine. That's kind of what I feel like right now.

For decades, I've been somewhat at the "beck and call" of others. There were plenty of demands on me! Critical ones. After the discovery of my former husband's pedophilia and extreme manipulation, it was both a relief and a challenge. No wonder I had not thrived! I had an opportunity for a clean slate then.

I complicated that by a new relationship a year later, one that we could never seem to make right no matter how much we tried. In the meantime, the kids were going through their own crises. We were all quite broken. 

After that ended, I was still open to relationships, which brought a whole new level and breadth of hurt. *sigh*

All that went by the wayside somewhere in 2016, and the last nine years have been ones of getting back on track. And now for the first time in my life, I have no obligation to anyone under my roof nor to an external schedule-based job. It is all right here—God and me.

So ... this is my "right now" challenge. Edit. Simple? I suppose it could be. It also feels quite complex. What all must I know to align to? In the writing world, it's massive. I suppose in my world, it should be simple. So I'm about to set myself to know what that is, cut away what doesn't belong, and focus on the main purpose. :-)

edit* (verb) ed·​it ˈe-dət 

transitive verb

1 a : to prepare (something, such as literary material) for publication or public presentation

   b : to assemble (something, such as a moving picture or tape recording) by cutting and rearranging

   c : to alter, adapt, or refine especially to bring about conformity to a standard or to suit a particular purpose

2 : to direct the publication of

3 : delete —usually used with out

4 : to modify a gene or gene product of by inserting, deleting, or replacing DNA sequences

*"edit." Merriam-Webster.com. (4 April 2025).

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E—Execute (Post 1 of 2)

Despite already having this waiting for Day 5 "E" ... I really want to write about edit instead of execute. But execute is a spinoff of yesterday's post. I think I'll do two. But instead of writing much about the executing of legal documents, I'll just leave what I had here.

What is an executor? One who executes the instructions of legal documents. There is a specific role in the estates of deceased persons (and other roles in other types of documentation are similar), but I'm thinking of it in general: one who executes or carries out the documented wishes of the one who created the paperwork.

execute* (verb) ˈek-si-ˌkyüt 

transitive verb

1 : to carry (something) out fully : to put (something) completely into effect

2 : to do what is provided or required by (something)

3 : to put (someone) to death especially in compliance with a legal sentence

4 : to make or produce (something, such as a work of art) especially by carrying out a design

5 : to perform what is required to give validity to (something)

6 : perform

7 (computing) : to cause a system to perform the tasks indicated by (encoded instructions)

intransitive verb

1 : to perform properly or skillfully the fundamentals of a sport or of a particular play

2 (of computer code) : to cause a system to perform indicated tasks

*"execute." Merriam-Webster.com. (31 March 2025).

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D—Documents : a Friend's Throne Room Vision

Sadly, the original live video is already gone (new Facebook rule), but February 22 marked an important day for me when I attended a friend's prayer meeting. 

The Lord has been showing her things by way of vision, just little snapshots in time. In this particular scene, she was in a room littered with paper. She knew it was the Throne Room, and when she picked up one of the papers, she recognized it as a prayer request that had seemingly gone unanswered.

Across it was the bold stamp: GRANTED

She imagined herself spending time in that room making requests and then going out and leaving the paperwork behind or letting it flutter to the ground and an angel having to gather and return the documents.

God began to teach her (and us) about Jesus' role to execute the provisions in that document.

From my Immi Adventure in England (2011? Possibly)

Because of having to take care of all sorts of things after my dad passed on, I have a working reference to what I can do if I have legal paperwork to execute his wishes documented in his trust. PROFOUND! If he had it documented as the "grantor" of his trust, I as the "trustee" administer the trust assets according to the his instructions. I simply produce the document, and whatever is within can be done.

That is a new working thought for prayer! I think I had a less concrete view to prayer. Just go in and ask, and sometimes keep on asking. But it would be silly to go in for more paperwork when a trust has already been settled; and impossible if the grantor has passed on (in the case of a revokable living trust which become irrevokable upon death). 

Just that week, I had a similar intersection of word study that started elseswhere but ended in the same place. I noticed two verses about Jesus:

Hebrews 13:20—"ratified an eternal covenant with his blood" (NLT)
Hebrews 12:24—"mediates the new covenant between God and people" (NLT)

I remember sitting in my chair and exclaiming out loud to Him, "You are so LEGAL!" 

document (noun) doc·​u·​ment ˈdä-kyə-mənt 

1 law a archaic : proof, evidence

   b : an original or official paper relied on as the basis, proof, or support of something

   c : something (such as a photograph or a recording) that serves as evidence or proof

2 a : a writing conveying information

   b : a material substance (such as a coin or stone) having on it a representation of thoughts by means of some conventional mark or symbol

   c : documentary

3 : a computer file containing information input by a computer user and usually created with an application (such as a spreadsheet or word processor)

document (verb) doc·​u·​ment ˈdä-kyə-ˌment 

transitive verb

1 : to furnish documentary evidence of

2 : to furnish with documents

3 a : to provide with factual or substantial support for statements made or a hypothesis proposed

especially : to equip with exact references to authoritative supporting information (as by means of footnotes)

   b (1) : to construct or produce (something, such as a movie or novel) with authentic situations or events

      (2) : to portray realistically

4 nautical : to furnish (a ship) with ship's papers

*“document,” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/document. Accessed 4/3/2025.

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C—Consecrate

I thought I would be diving into this subject from an earlier place where it was so alive to me that I about came undone with any reference to consecration and sanctification. I haven't kept my notes organized, so I have yet to retrace my steps that far back (which isn't far--within the year).

Oodles and oodles of notes on so many subjects have come alive in the past, and once upon a time, I had tubs of notebooks and folders of notes on those subjects. Most of those are gone now. I probably only of a surety have things from the past year. My heart aches over that. 

But I encourage myself with the thought that if it came through my heart once, it can come again. And it will if God needs me to know it or grow it.

Tonight (veering away from that sad stance of disappearing writings), I took a quick peek into the word consecrate and found something unexpected. Hopefully I can translate this little glimpse into a blog post. And if not, it will at least be enough for me to retrace the steps later. 

So the quickie is this, from Ezekiel 43:26 (KJV). "Seven days shall they purge the altar and purify it; and they shall consecrate themselves."

That last portion is from the word מָלֵא mâlêʼ, maw-lay'; or מָלָא mâlâʼ; (Strong's Definition) a primitive root; to fill or (intransitively) be full of, in a wide application (literally and figuratively):—accomplish, confirm, consecrate, be at an end, be expired, be fenced, fill, fulfil, (be, become, × draw, give in, go) full(-ly, -ly set, tale), (over-) flow, fulness, furnish, gather (selves, together), presume, replenish, satisfy, set, space, take a (hand-) full, have wholly.

This reminded me of John 10:10 (AMPC). "The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)."

I knew one meaning of consecrate is "to set apart" (especially for holy use), but I didn't realize that it also indicated fullness and abundance! Talk about a point for gratitude! WOW.

I also came looking for photos of a deliberate conseceration but they seem to be missing from my phone and Google Photos! *sigh* But I do have a photo of "U" in front of the church where Dena and I changed after being baptized in the Celtic Sea on March 19, 2025. 

I wish I had time to tell the whole story now. The encounter more fully aligns with my anticipated meaning defined by Merriam Webster.

consecrate* (adjective) ˈkän(t)-sə-ˌkrāt : dedicated to a sacred purpose

(verb) transitive verb

1 : to induct (a person) into a permanent office with a religious rite

especially : to ordain to the office of bishop

2 a : to make or declare sacred

especially : to devote irrevocably to the worship of God by a solemn ceremony

   b : to effect the liturgical transubstantiation of (eucharistic bread and wine)

   c : to devote to a purpose with or as if with deep solemnity or dedication

3 : to make inviolable or venerable

I had to look up a few more words on this (just a quick dictionary box on Google from Oxford Languages):

in·vi·o·la·ble /inˈvīələb(ə)l/ : never to be broken, infringed, or dishonored.
"an inviolable rule of chastity"

ven·er·a·ble /ˈvenər(ə)b(ə)l,ˈvenrəb(ə)l/ : accorded a great deal of respect, especially because of age, wisdom, or character.
"a venerable statesman"

I like them both. :-)

There is no way I can do this topic justice in just one moment! I may need to write a small book of the short seven days that led to such holiness for me. I did at least chart the course when we were halfway through as there was already so much that I was losing track. More notebooks for me to try and capture digitally!

*"consecrate." Merriam-Webster.com. (3 April 2025).

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B—Blessing of Expression

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it."

—William Arthur Ward

[I don't know Mr. Ward. I have never heard this quote until it came in a text yesterday from the makers of Ozempic, a drug my doctor has currently prescribed for diabetes. They have an entire system devoted to things like this. I even have a personal diabetes coach who works with me on goals for several months. It has nothing to do with my main post, but I wanted to be sure to make a note of it.]

This page is no longer in my notebook. It started a reminder note of what was in my heart as I hoped to share it with a young woman who danced during the church service at All Nations Church in the boxing ring in Dublin, Ireland the Sunday we were there. I didn't see her, and so I scribbled a note at the bottom of the page so one of the workers could give it to her instead.

For the benefit of search engines or those visually challenged, the note reads:

A blessing

of

EXPRESSION

Do not

be afraid

of the

BEAUTY

of it.

It is a cascade

of holiness that

reflects His beauty,

His perfection,

His passion, His

PRESENCE!

You are in my ♥

& I will hold

you in prayer!

As serendipity would have it, that evening she was one of the people invited by the church to attend our prayer meeting. What a night it was! Words often feel either pale in comparison or "too gushy" to be believable or even palatable for others to read. 

Even now, I am lightly pressed inwardly that the reception of such words is done by hearts that are prepared. It's not my words but their hearts and the Lord's orchestration. My main objective is to express and bless. Even the words I thought were for another, the Lord made known to me in that evening they were for me also. ♥♥♥♥

During that evening prayer meeting, she was ministered to and then began to pour her heart out in tongues and dance. It was fascinating! Our pastor just gave room for it all to play out. We were witnesses. There was a sense of travail and deliverance. Then the proclamation from prophetic lips: "The land shall dance again!"

So much more happened. So much went uncaptured. But the workings were released into the atmosphere and cannot be undone!

bless* (verb) ˈbles 

blessed, blest, blessing

transitive verb

1 (religion) : to hallow or consecrate by religious rite or word

2 (religion) : to hallow with the sign of the cross

3 : to invoke divine care for

4 a : praise, glorify

   b : to speak well of : approve

5 : to confer prosperity or happiness upon

6 (archaic) : protect, preserve

7 : endow, favor

Synonyms: consecrate, hallow, sacralize, sanctify

I may need to choose some of the synonyms above for use later this month because each of them has significant meaning to me. 

expression** (noun) ik-ˈspre-shən 

1 a : an act, process, or instance of representing in a medium (such as words) : utterance

   b (1) : something that manifests, embodies, or symbolizes something else

      (2) : a significant word or phrase

      (3) : a mathematical or logical symbol or a meaningful combination of symbols

      (4) : the detectable effect of a gene

2 a : a mode, means, or use of significant representation or symbolism

especially : felicitous or vivid indication or depiction of mood or sentiment

   b (1) : the quality or fact of being expressive

      (2) : facial aspect or vocal intonation as indicative of feeling

3 : an act or product of pressing out

Of all these definitions, the last highlight is the strongest to me "... a product of pressing out." Just this morning, I sat in what I am now calling "the blessing station" (my recliner) and had the wonderful opportunity of praying for and encouraging others. Two people are artists who are being pressed upon. (Add me, and there are three!)

Indeed ex + press = express, so an "exit" and "pressure" in my mind. From etymoline: literally "to press out" (source also of Italian espresso). I think of that strong, delicious elixir: coffee grounds pressed in; hot water forced through. With great pressure the grounds color the receptive water and a new substance emerges. Similar to the arts!

Maybe a definition of bless would be to "endow, fLavor"! LOL. Of course, I added the L. It is supposed to be there in my wee joke. (And I am pleased with the opportunity to use a phrase so often heard in my Ireland trip: just a wee joke!)

With that, I end this post knowing that I've dusted off an entire spider web of rabbit trails that could be pursued at any point. Pray for me! LOL. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

*"bless." Merriam-Webster.com. (31 March 2025).
**"expression." Merriam-Webster.com. (1 April 2025).

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A—Appreciate : Recognize with Gratitude

I am beginning again ... in many things. This is not a "new" process, but a fresh one—different than others new beginnings, which I guess is always true. Circumstances are never exactly the same. 

Two years ago, I attempted to do the A-to-Z Blogging Challenge and got 1.5 posts in before I couldn't keep up. One year long ago, I think I did more but also did not finish (not even close). I remember trying to plan for a future year and collect alphabetical topics, but then they started themes. 

What changed for my attempt this year?

I heard God speak to my heart earlier this year, and I have not followed through: Find something to say every day.

My nerdsy self! Oh my. I wrestled with that. Is it to be public? Private? Social media? Non-social media? (LOL! Sometimes that's my favorite kind: nonsocial.) Old-school pen and paper? Google docs? Scrivener?

So here I am again. 

Because I recently had a major experience in Ireland that resulted in a new beginning, maybe I can use the GRATITUDE theme to explore in bits what a spiritual fresh start means for me. This isn't meant to entreat the masses. I just want to gather my own reflections and challenge myself to officially find something to say each day.

appreciate* (verb) ə-ˈprē-shē-ˌāt 

transitive verb

1 a : to grasp the nature, worth, quality, or significance of

  b : to value or admire highly

  c : to judge with heightened perception or understanding : be fully aware of

  d : to recognize with gratitude

2 : to increase the value of

intransitive verb

: to increase in number or value

Before I launch into my first highlighted moment, I want to document that this was not at all what I thought God would do in Ireland. My expectation was that He would pick up with a mandate from two years prior where He asked me to petition Him regarding a prophecy I received. I did, and I kind of "left it there"—as if I threw my hands up and celebrated with a "Woohoo!" before walking out of that special place where and just counted it done. I didn't know how to tap into the execution of petitions, and am just now learning, so I thought that would be the objective for this sister trip. 

[Note: Scotland in the footsteps of Saint Columba was the first trip; Ireland in the footsteps of Saint Patrick was the second.]

My first moment I choose to APPRECIATE or recognize with gratitude is marked by communion and covenant. I suppose I could go into this more in two days for the letter C! I may. 

To explain this image, we were halfway through the journey and exploring Downpatrick. Our first stop was to The Saint Patrick Centre where I had the aha moment of finding a ring to express what God had done in me that weekend. Following, were in Saul Church for a time of prayer and communion, where I snapped this image with U (aka "you" to those I was "bring along" with me).

Finding a ring was only slightly premeditated. During dinner the night before, I shared with a couple the highly personal workings of the Lord in the previous days where I had betrothed myself to Him and His call for me. I made a slight comment something like, "I almost feel as if I need a ring!" In the gift shop as women perused jewelry, I remembered the statement, and there was one ring in my size. VOILA!

*"appreciate." Merriam-Webster.com. (30 March 2025).

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A Flashback Before April

Last night I went to a Celebration of Life. In the background is a replica of "The Travail of the Flag" by Shelli Baker-Manuel Landon. Hers was the life that transitioned beyond the veil. The link gives a brief history of the full painting and prophetic vision that spurred it. I read it just now and tears flowed yet again. This is my flashback to an artistic, inspired life that briefly intersected with my own.

I don't remember where I first heard Shelli's testimony. I remember getting her book by the same title as the painting, likely a gift from either my mom or my aunt. (By the way, my aunt and uncle, Kathleen and Jim Kaseman, are pictured in the "Parade of Saints" in the lower left area. I went up close to the replica last night and captured a quick photo.) 

I also don't remember where I heard/read about her plea to God to allow her to paint like the masters. I don't think it is in the book The Travail of the Flag. But I do remember that the story and the book enraptured me! What God can do with an artistic life that is wholly given to Him moved me deeply. 

It seems that I immediately penned a letter to Shelli as a result. Within days, I think, we ended up at the same ministry meeting in Rogers, Missouri. Imagine my delight! I don't recall if it was my unsent letter still unfinished that I gave to her (probably) or her reply handed to me, but she ministered to me greatly then and beyond. If I still have that letter (or letters?), it will be like gold. If I have ANY letters from those who meant so much to me in those days, they will all be like gold!

Also connected to my new, slightly obsessive interest was Billye Brim's teaching on the Blood (and I may have heard Shelli's testimony in one of her meetings). I was insatiable for old songs about the blood of Jesus. I found one extra-beautiful hymn: The Cleansing Blood; and I wrote one inspired by Billye's book: The Blood and the Glory.

As I sit with this today, I think about the extreme obedience that marked me with Shelli's story. I am struck by the prophetic power of the arts when yielded to Him. Shelli's expressions have always been empassioned and without reserve. I've always admired her boldness. 

When my then-husband and I stopped traveling and dedicated ourselves to church staff, that's when I began losing track of people like Shelli. We were no longer at meetings, and it was more difficult to make those journeys once our eldest was in school. Then our second child came along, and I can only see this now when looking back, but we were headed for disaster! Chaos reigned for some time after I suddenly became a single mom. It is only now beginning to straighten out after 20 years. 

In recent years, I was reunited with Shelli (now with husband Barry Landon) during my time as a writer at Rhema. I recall being excited and praying for their potential way to help during COVID ... only I wasn't able to help spread the word much or make connections because it was just before my world went wild again. I stepped away from Rhema for what I thought would be a short time to help my dad. He passed on, however, and my disabled brother needed someone to assist him, so my back-and-forth life began. That continued until I crashed after my brother's burial. Only now have I somewhat resurrected.

Recently I was thinking about Barry and Shelli—wondering what became of the COVID device to purify air and hoping it had blessed them. The thought has been familiar, so I realize they have been on my heart for a while. I wish I had known what to do with that thought. I find that often when someone passes, they are on my heart for a time (or quite some time) before. 

Amazingly, God helped me to see a post about her memorial service. I went. The stories resonated once again, and I am challenged to set my own artistry free in God's hand. Shelli's life is so large! I struggle to think of someone who is so specifically inspiring to me. I was once a budding, multi-gifted creative. I don't know if I will be exactly that again, but I am on the precipice of just such a journey. 

I noticed the celtic carvings on her harp—so serendipitous to my return from Ireland the week before. Renewal. Restoration. Rededication. Revival. Shelli continues to urge me forward. ♥♥♥♥

Confessions of an Introvert on a Sunday Morning

Public is difficult. People who know me from my youth find it surprising that I do not consider myself an extrovert. In a way, it surprises me too.

At some point, I found some kind of safety in hiding. It wasn't conscious.

It's easier.

A word that has come up recently and consistently is trauma. I don't know what to do with that word, honestly. And I don't really think I'm supposed to seek out something to do with it. I'll trust God to reveal what I truly need to know about it.

Speaking of words, there has always been safety in words for me. Yes, words can be damaging. I know. I know. But when I needed relief, a retreat into words always revived me—as long as I gave myself room to luxuriate.

I remember in the late 80s after two partial colleges and before marriage, I took "vacations" on the top of my bunk bed with books, notebooks, and a freshly baked loaf of bread. I think that's what I attempt to do on Sunday mornings when I can't seem to make myself get out the door. 

But it's a bit different now. I sit with words, yes. The distractions are higher. The consequences are weightier. It isn't just a luxury, though it could be. It's more of a wrestling match. 

Even this post, which I originally thought would bring some expression and discovery just hung there after the previous paragraph for a day. Now I'm here just to sew it up and move on. *sigh*